What goes around comes around. By that logic, you can either create a loop, or you’re already a part of it. Either way, how much agency do you have?
One bad thing can bounce off another bad thing, or provide an equal response, and in a circle it goes.
It’s sort of like a spiral. Nothing escapes it. It never changes. It’s always in motion.
I spent my teens in a downward gaze. My eyelids were too heavy to keep fully open. My eyes are downward, too. The outer corners connect with the line of dark circles under my eyes, creating one melancholic circle.
Most of the prayers that escaped my lips at that age, only God will ever hear, and I’m glad He didn’t answer.
But anyway, years later, all this made me think about what you plant one day and what grows from it much later, when your original garden layout plan has already changed.
What I whisper now, to my diary, to the universe, to God, is an attempt to reverse what I put in the ground all those years back. It wasn’t a seed of a plant that would defiantly sprout on a sunny morning in the distant future. It was a corpse of my self-abhorrence, this hostility that tried to strangle itself.
For a while there, guilt comes with it. This enmity starts oozing out of you and onward to the outside world. That anger will satiate its need to scream.
Frustration, envy, loneliness, rage, destruction, guilt.
Is karma an echo of your intent?
I’m left with nothing else but another loop to trick myself into, so…
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Sometimes the past does catch up but I think it is only by chance and not definitive. The stories we hear about the past affecting our present are outliers and not the norm.
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That’s very comforting to hear.
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🫶🙌
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🫶
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I’m sending my whisper that you’re moving to magnificence!
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How are you so sweet! 🤗🤗
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It is true. That’s the law!😉
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Okay, then that law must be respected! 😄🩷
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Yes, hands up and no fight. We’ll go with the flow.😁
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That’s right! 😁😁
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I can really feel this. Some words stay with us for years. 🤍 Healing takes time, but it does come.🦋✨Sending you gentle hugs. 🤗
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It’s true. Words have that power. 🤍 Many hugs! 🤗
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I’m interested to this thank you for sharing 😊
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Thanks for taking the time to read! 😊
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I tend to think it’s mostly about intention, but happening at different levels.
Then again, I also believe in grace. ❤
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Makes sense. Let’s not forget about grace! ❤
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I think intent has a lot to do with it, whether good or bad. I can relate to what you mentioned about feeling like a bad person in your teens, I did too.
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Yeah, actually, I think that’s the answer. I guess we were trying to figure out where all that restlessness was coming from.
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Yeah and I think that feeling also comes from being too young to know who we really are/want to be while being old enough to have to make more major decisions.
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Yeah, you got that right! It’s a tricky age for sure.
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You’re not stuck in that loop anymore. The fact that you’re trying to reverse it, that you’re whispering something different now, that’s already the breaking of the circle.
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Thank you! Sometimes, impatience gets in the way, or things that seem bigger that what we can deal with. I think that’s why it resembles a loop so often. It’s easy to mistake an upward spiral for a loop, too, when you’re still in it.
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i just hope for the best and try to do good
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good intent and good action. sounds good to me! 😀
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