a disappearing act

Posted bymylittlehawkPosted inOtherTags:, , , , , , , ,
A handwritten note with a playful message, dated 4th of July, mentioning the transition from 2007 to 2008.
today I found the ancient scripts

Dear diary,

Today I had a *lyric* playing over and over in my head. It’s been driving me insane. I tried to write, but today is not the day. I tried to make a paper fan. I also glued a few receipts in my junk journal.

My basil is looking good, and my little neighbor gave me a toy turtle to put in the pot to keep the basil company. I should probably name it. Basil, that is. Nothing spoke to me yet whenever I looked at it.

I saw an eagle today, chasing a jay. I think it was an eagle. It’s hard to tell with the species we have around. Then I saw an eagle again, in my coffee mug.  

I have a dozen tabs open, and a dozen things started, but I can’t focus on one for too long. I feel like my mind is a mess, but it might just be a minor frenzy.

I guess it’s normal to feel this way with so many things becoming clear, and yet so much seems uncertain. I do feel on edge.

Is it possible to feel like you’re running a marathon, and like you’ve never made a single step in your life, all at the same time? You know, that specific type of being stuck?

It would certainly be exhausting.

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Published by mylittlehawk

A blog about books, thoughts and travel

18 thoughts on “a disappearing act”

    1. I see it often, circling around my village. At least, I think it’s an eagle – I’m still not 100% sure 😅. That so comforting to hear that it does. I just need patience.

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  4. I tend to feel especially disordered just before I have a burst of getting stuff done and feeling focused, although today I’m foggy and it’s just a physical thing.

    I love when a theme arises in my day, for instance yesterday I heard the word ‘frisson’ a few times in different contexts, although it’s not a word I hear around me commonly.

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    1. For me, it’s the opposite. I struggle with focus, and then sometimes, I’ll have a brief window of what would look like focus, but I get jumpy, and can’t stick to one thing. Then it’s just a whole mess. I’m seeing this some hours later, but I hope you’re doing better now.

      I had to look that word up, as it’s not common for me, either. But it sounds as just what it means, if that makes sense 😅

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