go ahead

Posted bymylittlehawkPosted inOtherTags:, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Rip the band-aid, Kejt!

The expectations you set early in life will follow you forever. You spoil your surroundings with your good example. You try to please everyone, even when you’re no longer a kid who needs to stand on tippy-toes or pull at the sleeves.

You set your own bar too high. Then you get older (mid-twenties, for example), your knees are bad, and you can’t jump that high anymore. And that pain makes you double over. And guess where that leads you? You’re double effed over.

Now you’re in discomfort and uncomfortable in your skin.

When you’re 18 and make a drastic life decision that might turn out to be a mistake, you’re grand! You’re just a kid, living the life. When you’re, let’s say, 26, for example, you feel too old to be reckless. You can’t pretend you don’t know the consequences now. You already think about the responsibility – you know, the thing that makes your back hurt?

You turn into a more careful person. And no, it doesn’t come with age. Not really. It comes as a result of the band-aid you were too afraid to rip off when you should’ve.

Because why am I (only) 26, completely lost in life, have not a single certain thing going on for me, and I am still scared to start? I have nothing to lose and everything to gain, but I shrink in my shell like a turtle when startled.

What are you so afraid of? I yell to myself as I bite my nails. I was so focused on the fear for the longest time that, in the meantime, I lost the picture of what I wanted to gain if I abandoned fear.

What does that even mean??

I guess what I want in life is that early-2000s rom-com vibe where the lead woman has a vague job in a cute office. She visits cafes more than anything, and hops around in a hurry, thriving even in her struggles. The only thing I have in common is a messy room. God, I need a cigarette!

might go back to red

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Published by mylittlehawk

A blog about books, thoughts and travel

41 thoughts on “go ahead”

    1. Thank you! I’m dancing between being young and dreaming big, and feeling like I’m late to life 😅 Yeah, I did achieve the aesthetic I was going for, apparently, so that’s something 😆✨

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  3. In my 26, I just keep doing what I love–reading, and learn how to write. And I know what matters to me and what I want. I think that’s the foundation.

    Lots of hugs, Katarina. I love your photo and honesty here.

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    1. And that’s a good foundation! I feel like for me, I filled those boxes well, so I know what I enjoy, but that’s like free time. That can’t sustain me.
      Lots of hugs to you, Hazel! Thank youu 💙

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      1. I understand. Healthy and witty people are more inclined or perfect for serious, high paying jobs since their body and mind can fit for it, but not me. I’m differetly-abled. I need a little gentle work with no stress responsibilities.

        You’re always welcome, Katarina.💚

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      15. Thanks! 😄 If it weren’t for you, I might not have picked it up at all 😅 Who knows what we’re setting in motion right now and how that will come back to us later?

        Like

  4. The early-2000s rom-com heroine with a vague office job who thrives in chaos is such a top-tier aesthetic goal! That messy room confession made me smile—you’re capturing that weird mid-twenties dance between dreaming big and overthinking so perfectly, Katarina!

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      1. Laughing about it is truly the best survival strategy! 😅 The mid-twenties really are such a chaotic, beautiful mess where no one has it all figured out. You’re handling it with so much grace and humor—wishing you a smooth and wonderful week ahead!

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  5. The atmosphere of this photo .. it’s like a painting. The struggle is important somehow, though at now 56, I can’t tell you exactly why, just that I believe it expands us somehow.

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    1. Thank you! It’s a photo of when I was a teen, and my sister took it on her old phone, so it lost it quality in the meantime, but I guess it gave it a more nostalgic, maybe a bit melancholic feel. ❤
      Oh, I see your point! It makes sense.

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  9. Pingback: Overcoming Fear in Your 20s: Embrace Life’s Challenges - Daily News N Blog

  10. *Daily Juice*

    _Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth. You are not what has happened to you. You are what you decide to do next._

    _If all your friends are in an uninspiring level, you ‘re in trouble; even if you take one step forward, the energy that sorrounds you would take you two steps backwards. Quality attracts quality. Become better to find better. Don’t waste your valuable time with people that are not adding to your growth. Let them judge you. Let them misunderstand you. Their opinions aren’t your focus. People will always paint their own picture of you, it’s up to you if you autograph it._

    _When you give too much attention on what people think, you will always be their prisoner. Give yourself discipline on how you spend your time. A time well spent is a life well lived!_

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