addressing respect and boundaries

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I don’t feel the need to hold your hand when I say this. Maybe I need to be a bit firmer in what I have to say. Don’t mind my harsh tone.

It’s nobody’s responsibility to mind your insecurities or accept them as an excuse for your disrespectful behavior. And no, age isn’t a good enough reason, either.

When you’re at the age where you’re trying to establish yourself as a person, I can understand the hardship because we’ve all been there, but I don’t have to stand for the nasty bites that help you feel better about yourself.

I’ve been there. I know it can be done without disrespecting or hurting others.

And kindness doesn’t work either. Not in the sense you think it does. Kindness isn’t keeping silent and putting up with that to make it easier for you. Growing up is hard. It’s supposed to be ugly. But not at the expense of everyone else around you who should accommodate you.

Being 18 to… 23, I’d say, is the most uncomfortable age because you go through the most changes and growth, without the experience and maturity you (might) gain later in life to equip you for that.

But just know, while you’re squirming in that restless state, it’s not fair to make others take the punches. Especially if you are someone who’s not familiar with apologizing, and don’t yet have the spine to speak your mind clearly.

Your immaturity now will come back to bite you later, and it’s going to be nasty if you don’t sit with yourself and work it out.

And no, this isn’t me being in a bad mood or whining. I just don’t care to say it any other way. I think that a lot of kids coming out of their teens and freshly in their twenties need to hear it.

This conversation is ongoing.

Okay, thanks, bye!

A butterfly resting on lavender flowers in front of a textured wall.

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A blog about books, thoughts and travel

17 thoughts on “addressing respect and boundaries”

    1. Thank you for sharing, Hazel, and for bringing this reality to the post dedicated to confronting and owning up to hard life circumstances and decisions! You know best what it means to take ownership of your path, and lead with kindness every day. That was my whole point.
      As I was referring to the tricky nature of growing up, which poses the most challenges in that timeframe, what I wanted to do with this post isn’t to dismiss the unfair or unpredictable hardships life throws at us, but highlight our responsibility to mature and learn kindness and respect.
      Thank you, Hazel, once again!

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    1. i think, when you go through that growth, from being a kid into adulthood, and struggle with it, your ego also plays a big part, and it’s understandable/expected that you won’t have the maturity to address it at the time. it would be wrong to force perfection or disregard the fact that people just have to grow, and that’s gonna be a complex process. it just takes honesty, to yourself first, to gain this awareness and grow from it.
      on the other hand, i also totally understand the something being “about me”, because you are the center of your life, if you know what i mean. we are always coming from our perspective, with our own subjective right, so it’s gonna happen that we consider/take things personally and have them affect us on a personal level, and then act from that position.
      if it was said in the sense that you may have started a similar conversation, and this was a response to brush it off, it again speaks of ego and the struggle with it. but it’s also all normal in your teens, but mostly twenties. you’re just confronting adulthood for the first time, however you look at it.

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