A Happy Place: Vilnius

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I know how to help you now. Find me in the future.

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Bye, Vilnius!

My suitcase is packed and ready. The packages are sent. I think I got everything. But that’s the easy part. How do I arrange all the memories? How do I unlearn all the habits I loved to build here? Love is the most important thing I carry back with me.

Since I’ve been here, they fixed the pavement in my street, changed the rooftop on the building I see outside my window, the bookstore around the corner closed down, the crows are back, seasons changed, and new students are coming to the city as we leave. There’s this bakery close to where I live – the best coffee in town. The pastries – art, truly. But most importantly, the lady working there giving an encouraging smile whenever I try to speak Lithuanian never fails to make my day.

I had the best professors (shoutout to Ms. Linara <3). I was inspired, encouraged, supported, and confident in my studies. That spark and excitement I had when I just started my studies returned to me with such force in these five months. I felt the most free, inspired, and alive. What happiness!

And my friends! It brings tears to my eyes thinking about how amazing they are, how much I appreciate them, and how I’m forever changed because of them.

It took me some time to get used to this place, but it was portioned well. I had enough time to figure everything out, be uncomfortable because I grew, and then enjoy coming into my own, and now I turn back to it – and fondly so – to see how far I’ve come, and to slowly say goodbye for now.

What a privilege it’s been being able to experience it all. Today I finally saw the Lucky Belly. I didn’t rub it though. I already saw the Užupis cat and the Miracle Tile by the cathedral, so I better not push it.

Everything I do, every decision I make, every person I meet influences me in some way. I change, as one does, with every new experience, but this one has truly been the most beautiful adventure of my life. I scored the highest on every checkpoint of all my dreams. Okay, nothing is perfect – but this truly was.

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I’m overflowed with joy at having found this new happy place. I wish I could turn it into those small glass balls and keep them with me always. I would make a necklace out of them that hangs on my chest so it’s always close to my heart. I cannot stop admiring the amount of privilege this was. And it stands out so much from what is happening to someone just like me, in another part of the world.

I was safe in my bubble and I’ve been able to lean into it completely. I enjoyed it fully. But, that doesn’t make me blind to what’s still happening in Palestine. Yes, they finally agreed on a ceasefire, but that doesn’t mean it’s over. It won’t be until Palestine is free. The people are returning to their homes, (finally), but what waits for them are rubbles. The entire cities leveled. They need our help, our attention, our support. Especially now with the mess that is happening with social media, we need to come together. One selfless act here, one caring person there – we need community.

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Let me teach you a word (my favorite) in Lithuanian. It’s ‘meilė’, and it means ‘love’. It’s so sweet, like honey. (It sounds a bit like honey in my language.) I think that’s the word that fully encapsulates the last five months of my life. I’m ready to go. There are other places to be, things to learn, and experiences to have. It calls me. But, at the same time, I’m finally able to understand the heartache of leaving.

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