A Little Midnight Update

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There are days for cleaning, and there are days for resting. Why stress about it? Not everything has to be impeccably clean all the time, and whoever’s bothered by this doesn’t need to come.

– My grandma, when I was stressing about my dirty windows

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An Update? I Wish I Were More Creative With My Titles

It’s really not much of an update. Yesterday, I made a to-do list on my phone for the first time in quite some time. There were probably ten things on that list – bold – but the best part is, I checked seven or eight of the things on there. That hasn’t happened in such a long time. I decided then that I was having a good day.

I’ve had a few blank days (=nothing is happening, but there’s nothing to stress about either) in a row, which actually means they’re good days. That prompted such good energy that I haven’t felt in a while, and I love it! Maybe it’s the January deep-cleaning of my brain. I need space/strength for later, so this transitional period is perfect.

So, that’s an update on this little hawk.

I still struggle with falling asleep on time. I cry almost every night, but that’s good because I’m letting it out. I push the limits of procrastination with every new assignment. I’m happy whenever I get two things done – one of them’s getting out of bed sometimes – because it’s so easy to rot in bed and let the time go by.

The weather is nice, for the most part, and I’m even inclined to go out, get a coffee with my friend, open the blinds completely, and not hide from the sun. I get the groceries and eat vegetables (although I always forget to take my iron). Today, I even styled my hair (and then it got ruined because of the humidity).

I try to read, fighting my poor attention span with all I’ve got. I FaceTime my grandma and listen to her advice religiously because she’s a genius! (It’d be hilarious if she had a podcast!) I have the Mamma Mia soundtrack on repeat, and there’s also this remix of Sarà perché ti amo that is just perfect for my brain, although my sister doesn’t share the sentiment.

I obsess over TikTok’s “most gut-wrenching quotes” slideshows, and I always find new recipes to make in an oven I don’t have. I let the water in my glass sit there for far too long, but my big cup of coffee couldn’t relate.

I take far too many pictures of the crows in front of my building because their little jumps when they walk around are so cute. I try to make friends with Rain, but she always brings her friend Cold, and I don’t really vibe with him, although he seems to be a bit obsessed with me.

I talk to myself a lot, but it doesn’t concern me. It’s just that I live alone, so there’s no other choice. I’m supposed to be working on my thesis, and the fact that I know I can do it in two days is concerning, knowing my habits.

I always get these sparks of inspiration around 10 p.m. that trick me into thinking I will be very productive the next day, and that illusion has been my night-time routine for days now.

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The Coffee Cup Is Empty

All right, this felt like a coffee with a friend, sharing a bunch of nothings that would have to pass as updates. Blank days, right? Oh, also, I’ve been reading the most absurd book possible, but it actually makes sense? Sort of, but I’m not done yet. I’ll share more later.

If you reached this point, hi! And thank you, this dusty corner of the internet really appreciates it. There’s no punchline here, though, or a point to wrap it up. I’ll take my leave now.

P.S. Want to hear more wisdom from my grandma? Of course, you do, so here it is:

I like people who know how to enjoy food. Those are my people. What? If there’s food I like, I’ll eat until I’m full.

Okay, thanks, bye!