Aquatic & Lunar Soul: Lovers and Opposites
Water is shifting and unpredictable. It is dreaming and wandering. The moon is a steady presence in the night. It is remembering and yearning. Looking at the sea, I think of the future. Looking at the moon, I remember the past.
If I were a place, I’d be the moonlit open water. Those two elements are something I tie closely to God, the scene I find the most holy.
“im extremely devout but nobody can figure out what im worshipping.”
The dreaminess and nostalgia, the future and the past, are two polarities my soul splits into so precisely. One ruled by the other, the constant and the motion, the lovers and the opposites. It makes me the biggest dreamer.
Treading the Water of Time: Moving in a Circular Motion
If I treat this post as a paper I’ll burn in the fire later, can I be the rain that falls on the happiness? Because somehow, I crossed this year’s threshold, and it’s time to make new promises when I didn’t even get to keep my old ones.
I’m restless, tied to the past, but training myself to change my language. It’s time to get out of hibernation, although I’m not ready yet. My aquatic, mutable soul should handle the change well. My lunar side is nostalgic.
Wishful thinking, angel numbers, predictions, and New Year resolutions – we’ve entered the time of yearning, praying, and promising. I’m a Pisces entering the Year of the Dragon, and although I don’t believe in the Zodiac, I’m collecting these scraps of hope, taking them as signs that this year might be better.
Rain on My Happiness
I am so desperate to have a good life. I’m clinging to that vision with my nails dug into the roots of a tree I lay buried under. The crypt is comfortable enough, but I’m not resting. I feel the crisp air tickling my forehead, but it won’t reach my lips or my lungs.
I’m reaching for the exit, but Tantalus would have more luck.
This year, my only goal is to make a better concoction of the chemicals in my brain. I feel the pressure of that promise sitting heavy on my chest. My resolutions I put on paper, but never to work. I feel like I’m running on a treadmill – I’m exhausted and pushing forward, but I don’t move an inch. I want to change that. Actually, I desperately need it because I can’t even play UNO anymore without feeling like a failure for constantly losing.
Excuse my melancholia. I’m surrounded by loneliness and windmills. I’m trying, I swear!
“And if happiness visits you again, do not remember it’s previous betrayal. Enter into the happiness, and burst!”
My Little Hawk 